The Dog in the Night Time

I was not a very good mother Christopher. Maybe if things had been differant, maybe if you'd been differant, I might have been better at it. But that's just the way things turned out. i'm not like your father. Your father is a much more pacient person. he just gets on with things and if things upset him he doesn't let it show. But that's not the way I am and there's nothing I can do to change that. Do you remember once when we were shopping in town together? And we went into Bentalls and it was really crowded and we had to get a Chrsitmas present for Grandma? And you were frightened. Because of all the people in the shop. It was the middle of Christmas shopping when everyone was in town. And I was talking to Mr Land who works on the kichen floor and went to school with me. And ou crouched down on the floor and put your hands over your ears and you were in the way of everyone. So I got cross, because I don't like shopping at Christmas, either, and I old you to behave and I tried to pick you up and move you. But you shouted and you knocked those mixers off the shelf and there was a big crash. And everyone turned round to see what was going on. And Mr Land was realy nice about it but there were boxes and bits of broken bowl and stuff on the floor and everyone was staring and I saw that you had wet yourself and I was so cross and I wanted to take you out of the shop but you wouldn't let me touch you and you just lay on the floor and screamed and banged your hands and feet on the floor and the maniger came and asked what the problem was and I was at the end of my tehter and I had to pay for two broken mixers and we just had to wait until you stoped screaming. And then I had to walk you all the way home which took hours becuase I knew you wouldn't go on the bus again. and I remember that night I just cried and cried and cried and your father was really ncie about it at first and he made you supper and he put you to bed and he said these things happen and it would be ok.